Intro to Deconstruction Diaries

This series was originally published on my socials in 2021. My thoughts and opinions have probably changed in some ways since then, but they’re still meaningful and relevant to who I am and what I believe today.

I am in the process of deconstructing; deconstructing what I've been taught and known to be FACT.

I'm looking out at what I'm seeing and have been seeing for a while and thinking maybe I've been taught wrong. Maybe what I know to be FACT is actually short-sighted or bad theology or just plain stupid—even if spoken by well-intentioned people whom I love and respect.

What has led me here? Lots of things.

But a few of the big things would be:

- The resistance of the Evangelical Church to categorically denounce systemic racism NOW but also actively participate in it for generations

- The loyalty to Trumpism, the audacity of Christian Nationalism, and the unabashed pursuit of power that feels antithetical to the gospel

- The language and terminology we've used to separate and elevate ourselves above the rest of the world, thus creating an US vs. THEM, IN or OUT mentality of judgment and condemnation

- The treatment of the homosexual community

- The spiritual abuse I've personally witnessed in the last few years. The way smart, loving, well-intentioned people in the church have used scripture to trap, smother, corner, and shame others ... not because they're bad people but because the entire system is dysfunctional.

- The hypocrisy. And I don't mean partying on Saturday and then going to church on Sunday (because that's the kind of hypocrisy you talk about in high school bible class). I mean memorizing scripture, volunteering in the church nursery—and then being outraged by laws that show love and inclusion to millions of the marginalized or ignoring an entire people group as they tell you they are hurting, suffering, even dying.

Simply, it has felt like we've missed the point. And I've trudged along for the last few years trying to wrap my mind around it but this weekend I finally realized ... maybe it's time to start over. To relearn. To redefine and rebuild.

I've also been afraid to ask questions out loud for so many years because I prided myself in being a good Christian who knew the right theology. I prided myself in knowing the "right answers."

And I didn't want anyone accusing me of being on "the slippery slope."

But it turns out, the slippery slope is actually pretty freeing.

And I'm sliding down with my hands up in the air ... with Jesus in the drivers seat like, "This is gonna be fun."

To be clear, me and him are still totally fine.

So if you feel especially loyal to the evangelical church and don't want to join me on this journey, I will not be one iota offended if you unfollow. Not because I don't want you here (I DO!), but because you might not be down with a dissenting opinion. And I'm okay with that.

I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I just know for months (years?) I've felt incredibly isolated in my thoughts. This is an invitation for anyone wondering, searching, or questioning to jump on board. We're heading down the slippery slope.