Entry #22
This series was originally published on my socials in 2021. My beliefs and opinions have changed in some ways since then, but these words are still meaningful and relevant to who I am and what I believe today.
We were new in town. Again.
"Operation Find a Church and Get Involved" was officially underway.
For me, a stay at home mom, finding a church was more than just seeking out great biblical teaching or engaging worship. It was my one connection to the outside world of grown-ups who didn’t whine about crooked shoelaces and nap times.
After a few weeks, we landed on a small town Southern Baptist church. We loved the people and they loved us so well—a group of imperfect people doing their best to understand what it means to follow Christ.
There were some traditions I was unfamiliar with since I’d grown up in the Church of Christ. One of those was "Awana," a children’s curriculum that incentivizes kids to memorize scripture.
It sounded like a good idea to me. Who doesn’t want their kids to know scripture by heart?! Sign me up!
No really, I signed myself up as a volunteer. Plus, two of my kids and my neighbor kid, Claire. (read more about Claire's mom, Hannah, here: https://www.facebook.com/jordanharrellwriter/posts/322883879201182),
I knew Claire struggled with reading and wouldn’t be especially comfortable in our church setting so I asked if I could be the teacher in her class.
Our first Wednesday night at Awana, there were a few red flags … which were literal flags.
In the auditorium full of kids and adult volunteers, we were asked to stand for the pledges.
We all stood up while one of the older kids walked up on stage and grabbed a huge American flag, holding it out towards the auditorium. “I Pledge Allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America …” we all began in unison.
“What the crap does this have to do with memorizing scripture?”
Next, we pledged allegiance to the Christian flag, the Awana flag, and the Bible, wrapping it up with a cheery military march, the Awana Theme Song, that sounded like it was straight out of a black-and-white fundamentalist documentary from the 1950’s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-qGMJtv6to).
I was starting to get major creepy cult vibes but everyone around me was smiling and nodding along. This is normal. Everything is normal. Right?
For the next several weeks, I would head back to the my classroom after flag ceremony and watch kids compete (and I mean COMPEEEETE) to memorize verses faster than their classmates and get “Awana Bucks” so they could buy cheap toys.
“I’m READY, I’m READY!” they would shout at me, five at a time. I would go over and listen as they struggled to recite the verse they’d been memorizing for approximately 2 whole minutes. Inevitably, they’d get stuck halfway on a word that wasn’t in their vocabulary, so I’d have to say, “Go back and work on it a little longer.”
And sure enough, they’d get it right 30 seconds later.
Ask me if I think they knew any of those verses the next day…
Meanwhile, Claire needed me to help her read each of her verses to her. I knew she had no context for a lot of the stuff she was reading, so I tried my best to give a little depth to the verses she was reading in isolation.
The other kids in class would get frustrated with me for not being able to approve their verses quickly enough (so that they could get their money for their toys) while I was helping her.
She couldn't memorize the verses nearly as quickly as the other kids in class, which left her frustrated and defeated some nights.
I remember commenting to one of the other volunteers, “I don’t think they even know what these verses mean. This translation is way beyond most of their comprehension.”
“Yea, but you have to be really careful about translations. I mean, some versions just totally disgust me with how many liberties they take with the Bible. It’s not even the Word of God by the time they get done with it. KJV is really the only one I trust.”
It didn’t seem to matter that these kids, specifically the ones who didn’t go to church regularly, had no idea what they were reading.
As soon as we were done memorizing all the verses, we’d head out for game time. I’d watch as the same kids who were flying through the levels, “mastering” verse after verse, were the ones cutting in line, pushing their friends, and cheating in the games to make sure they won.
I get it, they’re kids. Kids do that stuff, my own included. But I was trying to figure out what positives we were reinforcing here. What was the point?
I looked across the street at the low-income apartment complex and wondered, “I wonder what it would look like if, instead of Awana, our kids served those who lived in that apartment complex each Wednesday.”
This seemed to be another example of the church protecting our own within its walls, waiting for those outside to come in rather than us going out. Another example of us being more concerned with reading the Bible than doing what it said.
I questioned a lot that year, trying to figure out the point.
What were they getting out of this other than a desire to win at all cost?
Were the words transforming their hearts? Or just black and white letters on a page? A means to an end? A ticket to a brand new toy?
Or was this whole thing, from the flags to the pledges to the actual Bible, tools with which to arm our kids for a cultural battle against the Big Bad World?
Scripture was a weapon and we were loading them up with ammunition.
Looking back now, I see programs like these as big fat neon arrows pointing to "HoW wE gOt HeRe."
The trickle down effect is real.
In many denominations, decisions about interpretation, practice, and doctrine are made at the top of a powerful hierarchy.
These trickle down to highly-controlled seminaries, which trickle down to pastors, which trickle down to parents, and finally to “the future generation.”
We grow up hearing one version of “Truth,” a Five-Point Plan to defend it, and a fear of anyone who might understand God or “Truth” differently.
This is not discipleship.
This is not training them up in the way they should go.
This, my friends, is highly-controlled, fear-based indoctrination.
(Flag Ceremony script if you’re interested: https://static1.squarespace.com/.../1494.../FlagCeremony.pdf)
